Translations of Tracks 1-7 can be found here.
Track 8: A Day in the Life of Gntarl-sama
(Birds are tweeting.)
Gntarl: Waking up early in the morning feels so good! Good morning, little birds and hello to all chameleon plants.
(The birds fly away from Gntarl)
The birds flew away from me yet again. They’re so uncute.
Nothing beats taking a shower and shampooing one’s hair in the morning.* And of course, I should apply some hair treatment to keep my hair shiny.
I’m now at school. No one is around yet and the morning air feels cool and refreshing. I wish I can immediately overthrow the principal so that I can finally feel at peace. I want this place to be purified.
(watering plants) Here, have some water. You are all growing quickly thanks to your god’s compassion. And that god is no other than me. Show your gratitude by blooming the most beautiful flowers in the world.
(Birds are feeding on Gntarl’s leftover bread.)
I am giving you these pieces of bread because it just so happened that I have leftovers every morning and you hungry birds have no choice but to feed on it. Oh! It’s noon! The show is about to start. (turns the TV on) What a nice show.
Time to get to work. I need to continue planning on how to reform this school.
Gntarl: Another day of work has passed. It’s time for the last activity of the day – writing about today’s grudges while drinking Shochu!
First, I have to write the date today…
“Principal Munto snatched and ate the omelettes I cooked for lunch. Eating someone else’s omelette is an unforgivable sin and as such, I shall definitely make him pay for it.”
Maybe I should go to bed after a few farts. But before that, I need to wear my nightcap. I hope tomorrow will become another great day. Zzzz…
*Most Japanese people shampoo their hair at night (Source: Seikatsu Hyakka)
Track 9: It’s Time to Take a Check-up from Doctor Leica
(The school bell rings.)
Student A: Doctor Leica!!! Something…something got inside my eyes! Please remove it!
Student B: Doctor Leica!!! I just got…err…injured! Please help me!
Leica: Tch. Line up. Now. (kicks the two students)
Student A & B: Yay~!
Leica: Jeez, why do I have to deal with these two dummies everyday?
Leica: A-Arine! You were the pink-haired girl in the first half of Munto TV episode 4 whom I asked to handle the engine of Enda’s battleship and whose only line was “Yes, Ma’am!”, right?
Leica: What brings you here?
Arine: I missed you so much, so I came here all the way from Enda. I can’t help but feel lonely when I remember the days we spent together there.
(Student A and B are causing a commotion.)
Leica: Get out! (kicks the boys out) (to Arine) What have you done? Who said you can leave the kingdom without permission? You deserve to be punished, you naughty kitten.
Arine: Onee-sama…please scold Arine for being a naughty kitten.
Student C: I’m sure there’s something happening behind this door!!!
Student D: Student C–I mean, Tasaka-san, you wanna take a look at what’s happening inside, right? Imagining Doctor Leica wearing a sexy outfit and forcing you to ride on a Spanish donkey…That’d be so nice…
Student E: Domon aka Student D! You asshole! (punches Student D) I’m surprised you have the nerve to call yourself a man!…I’m going to take a look!
Student C: Sato-kun aka Student E, wait a minute!
Student D: Sato-kun aka Student E!
Student E: We are yearning for your warm touch, Doctor Leica. We are travellers in pursuit of the land of our dreams!
Student C, D, E: Let’s go!
Arine: (holding a whip) It’s time for your punishment, Onee-sama. I wonder why you left me. Could it be because my warnings weren’t enough?
Leica: Arine…this is all a misunderstanding…I didn’t want to leave you…
(Arine whips Leica while doing an evil laugh, and Leica screams in pain.)
(A creaking sound can be heard which suggests the presence of a Spanish donkey.)
Student C, D, E: It was the opposite of what we imagined!
Munto: I found and picked this book up. I can feel both desire and guilt fighting inside me. What do you think should I do, Rui?…R-Rui? R-Rui?
Rui: Give that to me! Ahhh…I’ve always wanted that.
Munto: W-wait. I–
Rui: Oh, yes…!
What a bunch of dummies.
Track 10: An Honest Conversation between Kazuya and Suzume
(The school bell rings.)
Suzume: (singing) Mon-mon-montaro boku tachi wa…Mon-mon-montaro boku tachi wa (lyrics of Montaro no Uta/The Montaro Song)
(Suzume falls over)
Suzume: What are you doing, Kazuya?
Suzume: Sing the Montaro Song, too, Kazuya!
Kazuya: Okay…Mon Mon Montaro–
Suzume: Let’s go home together!
Kazuya: Okay, let’s go.
Suzume: Kazuya, Kazuya!
Suzume: Yumemi and Ichiko told me you were acting weird lately.
Suzume: Yup! They said you were acting strange.
Kazuya: So I look weird in the eyes of the girl who always looks up at the sky, huh? Not bad. In fact, I like it.
Kazuya: Huh? What’s wrong?
Suzume: I didn’t get what you said. Can you say that again?
Kazuya: (laughs) So I look weird in the eyes of the girl who…what did I say again?
Suzume: Kazuya, Kazuya, who are talking about?
Kazuya: Aren’t you gonna answer my question?
Suzume: Can you say it again?
Kazuya: But I forgot what I just said.
Suzume: Nevermind, then.
(Suzume and Kazuya laugh)
Suzume: I’ll cook dinner for you today!
Kazuya: I can’t wait to eat your cooking.
Suzume: What do you want?
Kazuya: I want…Suzume.
Suzume: Okay! Let’s catch a Suzume, then!
Suzume: I wonder where we can catch a Suzume. Do have any idea?
Kazuya: Aren’t there a lot of them around Shinjuku?
Suzume: Then please go there for me!
Kazuya: So I’m the one going there?
Suzume: Yup! Right now!
Kazuya: But aren’t we in Kyoto?
Suzume: Who cares? Just go there. Right now!
Kazuya: I’ll be own my way to the station now…but come with me!
Suzume: There’s nothing special about that place, but okay, fine.
(Kazuya and Suzume laugh)
Kazuya: (mumbles) I can’t believe I have to leave this place even though I’ve just arrived.
Suzume: I see. I don’t get what’s happening, though.
Suzume: Kazuya, Kazuya!
Kazuya: That was close! (laughs)*
Kazuya: Anyway, we need to catch a wild Suzume.
Kazuya: But you know what? What I really want is…my Suzume.
Suzume: Hehehe~ Can you say that again?
Kazuya: What I really want is my Suzume.
Suzume: I didn’t hear you. Can you say it again?
Kazuya: What I really want is…my Suzume.
Suzume: I see…Kazuya, Kazuya!
Suzume: Has anyone called you a pervert before?
Kazuya: Yup, people often tell me that!
Suzume: Has anyone told you you’re gross?
Kazuya: Yup, people often tell me that!
Suzume: Has anyone told you how you’re so clingy?
Kazuya: Yup, people often tell me that!
Suzume: Do people tease you for being bald?**
Kazuya: Yes! Always.
Suzume: I knew it. Bye.
*Drama CD tracks are usually recorded in one take. (no cuts, etc.) I am not sure but I think Kazuya’s voice actor made a mistake (Those few seconds of silence do not seem to be part of the script).
**Suzume is referring to Kazuya’s voice actor, Takahashi Shinya.
Track 11: Guri and Dori’s Otaku Life
Munto: So the author of this R18 manga is a student named Guridori, huh? It was great. I feel both excited and anxious for his future.
Guridori: (humming) Oh, I like that song. It’s so nice. I know, right? I’m glad you like it, too.
Munto: Are you Guridori? What the hell is that outfit? Are you trying to cosplay a lion king or something?
Guridori: Oh, hello there, Mr. Principal! Hello! You shouldn’t bare your belly. You shouldn’t bare your belly! Don’t you feel embarrassed? You’ll get caught by the police. You’ll get caught!
Munto: I don’t feel embarrassed at all and I won’t get arrested!
Guridori: Please arrest this guy.
Munto: Shut up! I came here to ask if this R18 manga is yours. What the hell is this?! Don’t you have any shame?! Do you seriously think it’s okay to bring this to school?!
Guridori: Oh, that’s– Oh that’s– our latest release for the Summer Comiket.! And we– And we– sell it here at school, too. –sell it here at school, too. It’s on sale, you know. It’s on sale, you know. Could it be that someone just bought that recently? Maybe the owner dropped it. Maybe the owner dropped it.
Munto: Is that so? Now I feel sorry for the guy who dropped thi–no! Why the hell would I?!
Otaku A: Guri-shi~ Guri-shi~! The latest volume was great! You’ve must’ve put a lot of effort into it!
Otaku B: Oh, it seems that you’ve heard of the rumors, Mr. Principal! Well, I’m not surprised because Guri-shi aka G is this school’s best manga author!
Guridori: Wait a sec. Wait a sec. Could it be that you are complimenting us? Are you complimenting us? What’s going on? What’s going on? Why are you wearing a bra?
Otaku C: This is not a bra. It’s a pectoralis major muscle supporter.
Guridori: Oh, sorry for mistaking it for a bra. So, why are you wearing a bra?
Otaku C: I told you, this is not a bra. It’s a pectoralis major muscle supporter.
Guridori: Oh, I see. Sorry. I’ve always wanted to ask this: why are you wearing a bra?
Otaku C: THIS IS NOT A BRA. IT’S A PECTORALIS MAJOR MUSCLE SUPPORTER.
Guridori: I’m Guri. I’m Dori. I’m Guridori.
Munto: Hey. Can you stop this bullcrap?
Munto: Ryueri, I was thinking about how far I should go in molding our students abilities.
Ryueri: Would you like me to tell you what the future holds?
Ryueri: How much are you willing to pay?
Munto: How much…?
Ryueri: How naive of you to assume that my services are free, Principal Munto.
Munto: It’s Principal Munto-sama, got it?!
Munto: I don’t mind using money. I’m willing to pay any amount.
Ryueri: Okay. I shall be using this mirror, then. The words I say in the anime are so difficult but sometimes I want to take it easy, too. Principal Munto is a pervert with a schoolgirl fetish! …I was able to see every happening in the future, including the end of this world.
Munto: (shocked) Is it what I think it is?
Munto: You saw the destruction of this universe, too…?
Munto: You know Ryueri, you’re not bad.
Ryueri: Do you like older women?
Munto: I don’t hate them.
The honorific “-shi” originally has a different usage but some otakus call each other by adding “-shi” to their names.
Track 12: Rui’s Ambition
Gntarl: I want to become this school’s principal as soon as possible. Why won’t he just get involved in a scandal?
Rui: Vice principal, nothing will happen if we will just wait. I have an idea.
Gntarl: And what is that?
Rui: We will put thumb tacks inside Munto’s shoes. I’m sure he will step on it without noticing because he’s just a stupid pervert with a schoolgirl fetish. Afterwards, he will not go to work because his feet hurt, and that will be your chance to take over this school.
Gntarl: What a marvelous idea!
Rui: (evil laugh) Allow me, the handsome Math teacher, to carry out the task! And once you become the principal, I shall become the vice principal.
Gntarl: That’s very clever of you.
Rui: I still have a long way to go before I become as clever as you, though. (evil laugh)
Munto: Good morning…
Ryueri: Good morning, Principal…
Rui: He’s here! What’s going on between those two? That aside, I can’t wait for Munto to change his shoes! All you do is waste akuto. Prepare to say goodbye! Huh? Why is he not changing his shoes? Munto, aren’t you gonna change your shoes?
Munto: No because I change my pants and shoes at the same time. If I change my shoes here, you’re gonna see a strip show.
Rui: THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING! But if you don’t change your shoes, the floor will get dirty! Change your shoes! I mean, please change your shoes, Principal Munto, I mean, Principal Munto-sama. Right now!
Munto: Nah, it’s okay. My feet are actually floating a few centimeters from the ground, just like that blue robotic cat.*
Rui: This can’t be happening! I can’t believe he’s allowed to borrow a concept from that long-running TV show!
Munto: I changed my shoes now. They’re so clean and white. Thanks, Rui.
Gntarl: It seems that our plan has failed. Munto is terrifyingly powerful.
And this was how Munto was able to protect the school from evil. He wasn’t aware he did, though.
*blue robotic cat = Doraemon
Track 13: Viper meets Mongoose
(Munto bumps into a girl.)
Ichiko: I’m sorry, too. Oh, you dropped something…Why do have a rose with you?!
Munto: –! Uhh…it’s because…
Ichiko: May I ask why you’re panicking? It seems that my friend received a rose and a letter from a pervert. And in that letter, there was a horrible poem that went like, “I L-O-V-E Y-O-U. I love you!” Don’t tell me that was you…
Munto: That wasn’t me! I did wrote a poem but it went like “Ya…yaisa yaisa yaisa*!” and this rose is for…uhh…umm…
Ichiko: For what?
Munto: Uhh…for this! (claps twice) (music plays in the background) Carmen! (claps) Carmen! I started learning how to dance habanera as a hobby.
Ichiko: That must explain why you often wear tights.
Munto: Yup! It’s actually for my dance rehearsals. (claps) Carmen! (claps) Carmen! (claps) Carmen! One more time! (claps) Carmen! That step is important so you should do it again and again until you perfect it. (claps) Carmen! Come on, now. Pay attention to your timing.
Munto: (claps) Carmen?
Munto: (claps) Carmen?
Munto: (in English) Are you Carmen?
Ichiko: (in English) No, I’m not.
Munto: (laughs) That was a funny joke. (claps) Carmen!
Ichiko: But I’m not joking…
Munto: (claps) Carmen!
Munto, Ichiko: Carmen!!!
Ichiko: …Let go of me, you creep!…Help me! There’s a pervert wearing tights and dancing habanera (runs away).
Munto: So that’s the description the staff decided to give me…
Munto: (sighs) Ryueri…
Ryueri: What’s the matter?
Munto: Am I really a creep?
Ryueri: If you really want to know, I shall give you a mirror.
Munto: What do you mean?
Ryueri: But I actually (starts dancing habanera)….don’t hate perverts.
Munto: I see. (claps) Carmen!
Ryueri: (claps) Carmen!
Munto: Yes, Carmen!
Ryueri: Carmen! …Ahh…
*Yaisa is a word used by samurais to encourage themselves. (something like “Go, fight, win!”)
Here, Carmen most likely refers to the ballet called Carmen.
Track 14: Daddy-Long-Legs’ True Identity
Yumemi: Carmen! …Huh? What just happened? My body moved on its own. I should stop playing around and start writing my letter to Daddy-Long-Legs.
I hope you don’t mind me sending you a letter all of a sudden. Thank you for giving me the chance to study at this school. I always dream about you. I’m sure you are a wonderful and kind person. I want to meet you.
Munto: (reading Yumemi’s letter) “Daddy-Long-Legs, can we meet in person?” ….Carmen…
Yumemi: Daddy-Long-Legs just sent me a letter!
To the Girl of Destiny,
I have always thought of settling out matters with you someday. I will be waiting on the school’s rooftop tonight. Don’t bring anyone with you.
I don’t wanna go! I feel scared…but…I feel happy, too. This means I can finally meet Daddy-Long-Legs. I feel kinda uneasy about how he sounds like a gangster asking for a fight, but I can’t wait to meet him!
The next day…
Yumemi: I’m about to meet Daddy-Long-Legs and I feel a little nervous. (opens a door) It’s so bright that I can’t see! Oh! Could that person be Daddy-Long-Legs? His back is facing me, but I’m sure it’s him! Daddy-Long-Legs! It’s me, Yumemi! Your letters always encourage me to study well. I just wanted to tell you how thankful I am. Thank you for giving me the chance to study at this school! I’ll study well and become a stronger person. I’ll protect the future so that everyone can live happily! I won’t give up! Please turn around and look at me, Daddy-Long-Legs!
Munto: Non non!
Yumemi: Huh? A big white automaton with wings suddenly came flying! Kyaaah! Just when I thought Daddy-Long-Legs would turn around and look at me, he suddenly jumped and rode on the big white automaton with wings. His skin is so white, his body is short and stout, and his head is big like a chibi character! His body build looks weird but his reflexes are amazing! And then, the automaton flies away as it screamed loud roars. My narration was so long that now he’s out of sight…
Ryueri: Principal Munto-sama.
Munto: Oh, you finally remembered how to properly address me.
Ryueri: Please do not use the Akuto-powered automaton and the Montaro costume for personal reasons. The automaton can only be used during emergencies.
Munto: (taken aback)
Ryueri: You must pay a fee, or at least I wish things worked that way.
Munto: I like that.
Ryueri: What do you mean? …Ahh…
Yumemi: Ichiko, Suzume, I just found out that Daddy-Long-Legs likes mature women.
Munto: Anything is possible when using the power of Akuto!
*This part references Jean Webster’s book, Daddy-Long-Legs. In this drama CD, Daddy-Long-Legs (who is actually Munto) offers to send Yumemi to school but Yumemi doesn’t know her benefactor’s identity. The original Daddy-Long-Legs follows a similar plot.
Track 15: Introducing the Cast!
I’m Mai Aizawa, the actress behind Yumemi Hidaka. Kira!
I’m Daisuke Ono, the actor behind Munto-sama. Kira!
I’m Chika Horikawa, the actress behind Ichiko Ono. Kira!
I’m Hiromi Konno…the actress behind Suzume Imamura…Kira…
Tobe, Takashi!* I’m Kaoru Mizuhara. Kira!
I’m Shinya Takahashi, the actor behind Kazuya Takamori. I’m handsome. Kira!
I’m Norio Wakamoto, the actor behind Gntarl. Fngaah!
I’m Tetsu de Gass Inada and I voice Gass, the gang leader. Kira!
I’m Hiroyuki Endo, the actor behind Teacher Rui. Kira!
I’m Fuko Saito, the actress behind Doctor Leica. Kira daccha!
I’m Ryoko Tanaka, the actress behind Chief Staff Ryueri. Kira~
“Ryueri-sama!” I’m Megumi Matsumoto, the actress behind Toche. Kira!
I’m Maki Tsuchiya, the voice behind Gass’ follower, Irita. Kira!
I’m Guri. I’m Dori. And I’m Minoru Shiraishi, the actor behind Guridori.
Once again, Maki Tsuchiya, the voice behind Arine. Daccha~
I’m Takahashi Shinya, the actor behind Student A who loves Doctor Leica!
I’m Minoru Shiraishi aka Student B, the die-hard Leica fan.
I’m the female doctor enthusiast Hideki– uhh, Student C also known as Hideki Tasaka. Sorry.
Umm….I’m the student who loves fantasizing aka Student D, Jin Domon!
I’m the hot-blooded Student E, Kota Sato.
I’m Jin Domon, the voice behind the Guri and Dori fan.
I’m Hideki Tasaka, the voice behind the doujinshi fan.
I’m Kota Sato, the voice behind the bra enthusiast.
I’m the scriptwriter, Aratani Tomoe. Kira!
Yumemi: The end!
Kira – in this context, kira means that the person saying it winked an eye and/or struck a pose
*’Tobe’ in Japanese may also mean ‘jump’ (or fly, depending on the context). Here, the voice actress made a pun by saying “Jump, Takashi!” (i.e. telling Takashi to jump).
Special thanks to Ari (@RedWingedAngel2)!